Tonight The Bottle Let Me Down

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6NEksngRCO8

I know, I know, it’s a serious problem and all. You don’t have to drink like a fish yourself to know that. But it’s true it’s medicinal sometimes, especially for someone who can’t really drink anyway.

Well, me, I mean.

I can get tipsy just sniffing wine, and several sips of cosmo will knock me flat. It’s now become well known among my friends what to do when they are in need of some free entertainment. They get me drunk!

But I can turn from a happy drunk to a sleepy drunk very quickly, and then it’s not fun anymore, because I will have to lie down until I sober up. And I become as red as a lobster. Have you seen a sleeping lobster? That’s me when I am totally plastered.

Many people envy my ability to get drunk so easily, men especially appreciate this because I am such a cheap date. And of course they think it’s their cue to misbehave.

That’s why I usually don’t drink when I am out, unless I am with friends. I prefer getting drunk at home where nobody can see the sleepy lobster, although I know many people have this rule not to drink alone.

Perhaps it’s a wise rule since most people can get addicted. But not me, no. I am proud to say my body is built with almost zero tolerance against alcohol and hence I will never get myself addicted.

And if I have trouble sleeping, well, the bottle never lets me down!

Chihuahua

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kpX4cUSeRnA

Everything here in Japan is smaller, including the dogs. There are Chihuahuas everywhere in Tokyo. They are on the street, at cafes, in someone’s bags or doggie strollers. You see them everywhere you go.

Don’t get me wrong, I love dogs. But Chihuahuas are not really dogs, are they? I believe they are more rodentia than canine, and I have absolutely nothing against rats either.

It’s just very interesting how Japanese prefer everything small (now do stop that silly smile please!) If you think about it, it makes perfect sense because they don’t have big houses here, so naturally they have to downsize everything, including their pets.

Although personally I believe Japanese have this “Kawai Complex.” They like to be cute. And it’s hard to be cute if it’s big. That’s why everything here is small, and MINI cars are so popular.

Because of this Kawai Complex, girls are expected to squeak their words in a high-pitched childlike voice and wear lots of makeup plus a smile. And boys are expected to act like Disney characters and never grow muscles.

Do you know how many boy bands and girl bands we have here? It’s just disgusting!

Many western visitors complain about the size of the toilet seats here, but the funny thing is, they always find AKB48 (the most famous girl band now) fascinating.

As for me, AKB48 is as fascinating as the toilet seats!

Are You Lonesome Tonight

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrojFR7jM9E

Many of my friends collect friends on Facebook. There seem to be a competition going on there. I think the current winner has more than 1,000 friends in her collection.

Once I tried to log in my FB page in Singapore airport while I was just killing time, waiting for my connecting flight. I had to answer some security questions and give the names of my friends whose pics were chosen randomly by their system.

Of course I recognized all the faces, because they are my friends! I've met them, talked to them and even slept with some of them before!

But how the "popular" people pass this face recognition test? And about those cyber superstars, I also wonder, are they so popular that they are actually lonely? Or are they so lonely that they have to look popular?

And if you further analyze their profiles, you will find they are usually single or unhappily-married (too busy enjoying their cyber fame, no time for real social life) and relatively successful (career-wise anyway).

I often hear people commenting on FB that they have too many friends that they have to clean up their friends' list. It's a mystery to me how they got it dirty in the first place!

Freelancers and artists also use Facebook for business, but potential customers are hardly friends, don’t you think? A name without a face is just an acquaintance in your social network, not a friend.

I suggest we have another list on Facebook called “Faceless Friends,” now that should save us a lot of trouble!

Underneath Your Clothes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VI86eJkoKw8&feature=fvst

When I was a little girl, I used to try on my mum’s clothes secretly, like all the other little girls. But I also itemized and catalogued all my clothes, coordinated the outfits and documented all the different arrangements. Well you can see the true nerd in making…

Many Japanese read fashion magazines religiously, men and women. Female models in Japan are often cute, rather than beautiful. And there are many half-Caucasian female models here. For Japanese, somehow clothes look more expensive and desirable if the body wearing them has a white face attached.

But Japanese male models often resemble stick insects and are more feminine than Marylyn Meroe. If you have never read any Japanese men’s fashion magazine, it’s strongly recommended to go out and buy one immediately, to experience some serious entertainment.

I don’t read any fashion magazines usually. Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy watching beautiful people and I love fashion, but I want real fashion on real people, which is why people-watching is my favorite sport.

Although reading fashion magazines is considered normal, the funny thing is some men find women's magazines fascinating and read them regularly while most women never touch men's magazines.

Of course we all agree that female form is way more superior, but a man simply doesn’t need to look that good, as long as he has certain qualities such as brains, money, or preferably both. And for a woman, the social pressure is on her to look gorgeous all the time. Just read those glittering magazines, you will see looks are still everything we want from a woman.

When can we see a fashion magazine for full-figured women here in Japan?

Fashion

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lGTKtqtXeE

It's not a secret that I have a passion for fashion. And I also love photography. So I take pics of myself in different outfits, shoes, accessories and makeup, then share them with my friends on Facebook. Now does it make me an exhibitionist or narcissist I often wonder?

But trend means very little to me. I follow my own style, which is often 'grab the first one I see in the closet.' I always like it simple anyway!

So the clothes on the top of the piles in my closet get their fair chance to be out and about, while some of the unfortunately buried ones still haven’t even made it for their debut.

Sometimes when I have time and decide to dig in my closet to find something more unusual, I always have a pleasant surprise. But even when I choose to go out of my comfort zone (the clothes on the top in the drawers), I still follow one strict guideline: stick to what suits me!

Most Japanese pay great attention to their appearance. It's a nation obsessed with how other people think. But the tragedy is many of them don’t even mind being fashion victims when they try too hard to be different, or looking like a carbon copy of each other when they follow the trend blindly.

I like to observe other people's fashion and analyze their personality and character. Some of my friends prefer conservative style with wacky socks. It’s obvious they are saying, “I may look nice and harmless, but hey, I am also unique underneath. Find the true me if you can!” And I like them for that!

Hypnotize U

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YM-41D89rdc

Many people like watching airplanes and trains in action, or animals chasing and killing each other, or other people fighting for a ridiculously small ball (comparing with their body sizes).

Do those things excite you too? Well sorry, not me. I like to observe, but only when there are some human stories involved, for example, how people are dressed, how they carry themselves, and how they connect or disconnect with each other.

I suppose there are 2 different kinds of watching, the brainless kind and the brainy kind. Personally I prefer not to be anesthetized either emotionally or rationally.

One of the most popular past-times in the coupledom is watching videos in their living room together. I have nothing against it, but I often wonder if that's the best way to avoid fights.

Although we all use movies or music to help us unwind sometimes, I can never fall asleep while doing it. My brain simply refuses to be switched off that way! Imagine what you might miss!!

Maybe that's why I can never stand crappy movies or noises pretending to be music. Passive viewing/listening is just so not my thing!

Nice Weather For Ducks

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8yx4k4tzqE&feature=related

Japanese love their hot springs. They spend hours getting to the hot springs, stay at a hotel there one night, and take a hot bath 3 to 5 times during max 18 hours of their stay.

I like to take a bath too. But unlike Japanese, I can't do it in the summer and I also have problems doing it with strangers I don't plan to have a serious relationship with.

The most horrific thing which can happen to you is being started at by everyone, men AND women. Oh yes, some public baths here in Japan still keep their good old tradition of mix-gender baths.

So I can either take a very long and very hot bath at home or go to a hot spring and stay at an over-priced hotel that has a private bath in the room. And guess what my choice is? Well I stay at home and enjoy my private bathing time at leisure and without any hassle.

Some people read in the bath, some watch movies. But I prefer listening to Jazz or operas, eating strawberries with vanilla ice cream, and slowly sipping chilled white wine in the bath. Very busy actually...

And talking about bathing equipment and accessories, of course my bathroom has the standard water reheating function, but I have been thinking about installing a Jacuzzi, even though I am sure my 2 toy ducks won't be very happy about it.

I also have 2 bath pillows, one is plastic and shapes like breasts, the other is an air pillow. The former is too hard and the latter too soft. So I don’t use them at all.

Last year someone gave me a floating candle and I love it. But I also have an electric bath light that has many colors and can turn your bathtub into a disco. I still don't have the courage to try it out.

Some people like bathing salts, others like bathing oil. But my favorite is, of course, bubble bath!

Oh the water is ready, it’s time for my bath now!!

Blow

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFWX0hWCbng&feature=related

A typhoon is on her way to Tokyo. This morning many schools announced a day off for the kids. And most companies are letting people leave early today.

So now everyone I know is trying to get back home before the typhoon arrives. But then surprise surprise,all the trains have stopped! You know how cautious Japanese are. As a result, everyone is now trapped either in the train or in the office.

Real typhoons seldom come to Tokyo, so many westerners here think it's just a piece of a cake to have another typhoon visiting. But that's only because they don't know about the real typhoons, which bring the wind strong enough to uproot big trees and so much rain to cause land-slide and flood.

But I have fond memories of typhoons from my childhood. Every kid loves typhoon holidays. You get to skip school without having to invent any excuses!

Once though, I was only 6 when we were suddenly released from school because of a super typhoon. But as I was making my way home, I fell into the flooded sewage because there was water everywhere on the street and nobody could see anything in the rain and wind.

I couldn't swim, and still can't. I was almost drowned then, but luckily a man saw me and pulled me out quickly. I was so shocked that I just started walking home again without saying a word.

Till this day I wonder if I would ever have the chance to tell this man what I forgot to say so many years ago, thank you!

Squeeze Me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5e8ta-y_i9g

Before I moved to Tokyo, I used to laugh incredibly at the scene on TV of people being pushed into the commuter train. But now it's not funny anymore when I am one of them.

Of course there are alternatives, for instance, you can drive. But even if you can afford everyday parking here, which costs about half of your rent, it's just impractical to drive sometimes. Struggling through traffic jam to find somewhere to park is definitely not my idea of fun.

So unfortunately most of us are stuck with trains. I don't really mind as long as I can avoid the rush hours. People-watching is one of my favorite sports anyway.

But I was horrified when I first saw girls here doing their make-up on the train. But now, well I have long given up my principle and joined them, although I still insist on lipstick and powder only. No eyelash curler or mascara on the train!

Once a middle-aged man sitting next to me suddenly asked me to give my seat to an old lady who I hadn't noticed. She just got on the train when I was busy observing someone else. So I immediately stood up in shame and gave my seat to her. But till this day I still wonder what had prevented him from giving his own precious seat away, his age, his gender, or both??

Most Japanese are engrossed in their own world when they are on the train, from iPod, Nintendo, mobiles, to magazines with pics of naked girls, here being Toyo, the electronic Mecca and sex Disneyland.

But some people simply sleep on the train. You can’t imagine how exhausted and dead they look. Sometimes I even wonder if I should call an ambulance.

And me, hmmm, I am usually the only one on the train doing nothing else but watching the others, which suits me just fine!

Paparazzi

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2smz_1L2_0&ob=av2n

I happen to know quite a few professional photographers, and yes, like their reputation which precedes them, most of them are not exactly the type any parents want their daughter to be near within a 100 mile radiance.

But without doubt, all the photographers I know have one thing in common, they have a sharp eye for beauty, although mostly commercialized beauty. They know what kind of photos people want to see and they produce them accordingly.

But beauty should be 100% subjective. The only professional photographer I know who seems to have a unique angle of his own is an acquaintance of mine on Facebook, not really my friend. But his pics are somehow different and actually reveal a lot about him.

That's another thing many photographers have in common. They mistakenly believe they can safely hide behind their lenses. But in fact their pics give away much more than they realize or would like to admit.

So if they are unfortunately empty-headed, well sorry their pics are also as generic and boring as chewing gum. But if they really have got something interesting to say, then you can always find the message in the pics. In other words, their photos reflect their inner selves, without them even knowing it.

Although many of them are geniuses technically and equipped with the latest and largest cameras, I believe a good photographer should be able to use any camera to tell the story, to describe the view in his mind, to present the world as the way he sees it, and to make people feel what he thinks.

It's true a pic is worth a thousand words, but only if it's a good one!

Travelling Mood

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zR9DaRgpy6Y

What do people take on the trip?

Once I landed in a city with a small handbag and a missing suitcase. 3 days later, I came to the conclusion that I had always over packed before.

It was such a liberating discovery, knowing a passport and a credit card are all I need. Since then, I've done quite a bit of solo backpacking.

Although now just in case, I also pack some extra contact lenses, earplugs, aspirins, and some clothes. Everything is in one small bag.

I always like global roaming. Even if it’s a shopping holiday, I just leave with an almost empty suitcase and come back with a full one. It’s funny how little I need when I am traveling and how much I want when I am not.

But business travel is a completely different story. I have no choice but to take a computer and its 20 or so arccosines, necessary and unnecessary documents, and all the other crap my boss asks me to. That’s the only time I can’t travel light.

So I really don’t understand how some of my friends can stuff their suitcases with emergency food on their trip. They take microwavable rice, cup noodles, canned fish, bottled water, etc. Seriously!

And they would consume everything by the end of their travel. It's probably one of the sweetest memories from their trip. 

Well I suppose we are all different!

Feeling Alright

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NiTcmahEjiY

Most of people catch a cold once or twice a year. Some people are always catching a cold. Only few lucky ones are constantly on the verge of it but almost never actually do catch it, and I am one of them.

The secret is to have a very unfit health condition while working very hard and playing even harder, but always remembering to take your vitamins and run to your doctor at the first sign of a sore throat.

I collect vitamins and medicine. Looking at all those colorful pills, capsules, and tablets makes me feel stronger, or even invincible sometimes!

I take vitamins religiously everyday, most of them are sent by my mum regularly and every time we skype, she asks if I need some more.

But I don't enjoy taking real medicine, because I hate their side effects. Most stuff makes my skin bumpy and red. So I only take them when desperate.

My mum has her social circle in the hospitals she frequents. She often goes and hangs out with her mates there when she feels chatty, which is always. But for me, I only need my meds, not sick buddies.

This morning I got up feeling a bit under the weather, probably from too much sunshine and sea breeze over the weekend. I guess it's time to pay my doctor a visit. Got to go now!

S&M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdS6HFQ_LUc

I didn't pay special attention to nails before, either mine or others'. But after I got divorced, the second time, I mean, I finally started painting my nails,  around the same time I had my ears pierced.

And of course I never wore high heels and mini skirts before, well OK that's a lie. Of course I was wild before too, but now my heels just get higher and my skirts shorter!

Now nails, oh I simply adore all those shiny, vivacious colors! Since it’s the school holiday now, I can look as slutty as I like! Bright red and glittering silver are my favs, although this metallic aqua blue I just discovered yesterday is going to look fantastic at the beach too!

But there is a huge price to pay if you want to keep the beautiful nails every girl envies and every guy admires. First, no housework! No, you need a maid or a very understanding man, preferably both. Second, no panty hoses or stockings, unless you have enough savings in the bank to have a brand new pair every single time.  And finally, no piano/cello/flute, etc. Forget them, you can’t play anymore, just enjoy listening now and be content,

Apart from nails, heels are also essential. We all know it’s impossible to find shoes that are both sexy and comfortable at the same time. Look, if any woman tells you otherwise, SHE IS LYING!

Men have no idea how much women sacrifice in order to look like a sex kitten for them. But how far will a girl go to please her man (without being paid)? Tell me, what have men ever done to look pretty for women?

Really, sometimes I feel all women are masochists and all men are sadists!

Sweet Blockbuster

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgrYf7VWASE

Many people are movie fans. But I bet you can't find two people with the identical taste in movies!

Some people can watch movies in marathon, 6, 7 hours nonstop. I guess it's just a form of brainless entertainment to them. But I can't.

I watch one movie at a time, and preferably in one go, not in installment. And if I am not watching alone, I need my company to keep quiet, because I like to watch in total silence.

No questions like 'What did he just say?' No smart-ass guessing like 'I think he is the next one to be killed!' No comments like 'Hey, she is not wearing a bra!' And definitely no discussion during the movie, like 'Where would you like to go later?'

But of course the most important is the movie itself. To me, there are 3 categories of movies, intolerable trash, tolerable trash and must-watch-agains.

Horrors, war movies with lots of blood, and dumb comedies all belong to the first category. I particularly hate the movies that insult my intelligence.

Tolerable movies include legal thrillers (somebody suing), clever chic flicks (somebody loving) and human dramas (somebody dying.)

The last category is reserved for some heavyweight, thought-provoking movies like "Green Miles" or "Shawshank Redemption", and some featherweight, well-written comedy classics like "A Fish Called Wanda" or "When Harry Met Sally".

A good movie, in my definition, is one you can watch over and over again and get something new and different out of it every time. Hey, maybe I should make a movie someday!

Heard it Through The Grapevine

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7dGdrP3pms

I just had my regular health check and saw my doctor's computer screen. And guess what, it was his Facebook page!

Most of the people I know are on FB now. I even got reconnected with some old friends through it. It's such a powerful tool, but also very scary.

We don't have privacy anymore. The theory about 1 out of 7 people would be your friend on FB without you knowing is not just an urban myth. So theoretically speaking, I could stumble upon my ex's comment about anything on FB anytime, for instance, my friend's new profile photo. God bless his soul!

Some irritating friends constantly update their status, announcing to the whole world what they are doing/eating/watching, where they are, who they are with, etc. But the worst friends are those who do it when they are actually with you!

I know they are hopelessly addicted to FB, so I forgive them. But sometimes I just want to shout at them, 'Are you that lonely? Even when you are not alone?' Do you have to feel connected with the world or the reality by leaving some trace in public and proving your existence all the time? 

And we also read it. Well, it's human nature to gossip. We all have the need. But  how about a nice, old-fashioned chat over a beer with your friends? When did we start to connect with our friends remotely? Isn't it funny that we share our innermost thoughts through Facebook, instead of talking face to face like the good old time?

I Feel Pretty

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L7BQRGXFLJs

Shopping is the national sport in Japan. Almost everyone here is shopaholic. And if you still think men don't enjoy shopping, you should come and have a look.

So most people have a huge collection of something sitting in their overstuffed closets in their tiny flats. But of course they have to shop for more. Me included.

And about once a year, depending on how lazy we are, we declutter and throw away tons of stuff, in order to free up some space for more stuff. I am the ruthless type. I only keep necessary junk.

But I know some of my friends are extremely reluctant to say goodbye to their junk. And if they are brave enough to invite you to their flats and you are even braver to go, you will find the place so crowded that it's impossible to see which color their floor is. And be warned, watch out every step you take!

Why do we love shopping? Well, I think we don't have much control over our lives, so we shop. In the shop we can say yes or no to anything there displayed attractively and competing for our attention.

We feel empowered and in control. Retail therapy is the best cure for heartbreak, PMS, depression and many other known or unknown mental disorders. The world seems brighter and you definitely look prettier in the shop mirrors!

It’s also good for pure boredom because of its highly regarded entertainment value. In the big city like Tokyo where we have to go to the zoo to see any animals other than humans and insects, what else can we do except shopping?

OK, I've finished the coffee now, and this café is getting too smoky. It’s time to continue my shopping spree and I shall try my best to exercise some control, especially self-control!

Can Anyone Explain

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-FcOHkdiVQY

Why do people go to the beach? Is the sky really bluer there? Does ice cream taste better there? Or is it because everyone goes, so you feel obliged to be there too? I had so many doubts about the beach before.

Besides, I can’t swim, so I failed to see any reason to be there, except to show off my new bikini. Well, with that purpose in mind, and only that, I went to the beach last weekend, for the first time in my life!

But to my surprise, I really enjoyed it, and not only the bikini-showing part. I loved the gentle breeze on my face and the cool seawater at my feet. And I was always busy watching something at the beach, the blazing sun playing with the water, a black Labrador chasing his red ball, and the people!

At the beach, people-watching is not a mere sport anymore, it’s an art! But of course at the same time, I realize I am also being watched, although being an exhibitionist, I adore that too…

Oh and I collected many stones! I know it's childish, but I always like rocks, even though I don’t rock. Now I have a fine collection of stones with various shapes, colors and texture. I feel so rich!

Actually I took a book there to read, but I was simply too busy taking everything in to even turn a page.

But the best thing was the smell of the sea, warm, wet and salty, which took me right back to my childhood as I grew up by the sea. (Fine, you can laugh now, but I just can't swim!!)

No wonder smell is considered the most powerful trigger of memories.

Food for Thot

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8EqgwW3zCKg

I love food. Fantasize about it, look at it, smell it, choose it, , prepare it, cook it, and of course taste it, and eat it. Everything about it.

It's an essential part of our daily life, not to mention you are what you eat and blah blah blah, so why not make it into something special, even if it’s not anything spectacular?

Every country has its own food culture, but I think the 2 most popular cuisines in the world are Italian and Chinese, although probably just because Italians and Chinese are everywhere.

But if you are tired of pizza and pasta, or sweet and sour pork and lemon chicken, you can always go for something else.

For example, if you feel like stuffing yourself, you can either have Indian curry or American hamburgers. But if you prefer looking at half-empty plates and not eating, you can just sit elegantly and toy with some fancy French foie gras.

Thai food and Korean food are my favorites, because I love spicy food. I am one of the spicy food masochists, the spicier the better.

Of course for any cuisines, the tastes is the most important. But I also enjoy the whole presentation, especially in Japanese food. All the plates, bowls, chopsticks and the rests, their texture, whether it’s ceramic or wood, and all the rich but understated colors, it’s a visual feast on it’s own!

Razzle Dazzle

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8eykLf8b_Vk

Is it just a myth that only women and gay men enjoy musicals, while straight men tolerate them just to earn brownie points?

Personally I love musicals, but only the very good ones, of course. I have seen quite a few in the theater, but my all time favorite is still “Chicago.”

The story itself is common enough, a womanizer gets exactly what he deserves and the murderess goes to jail. But it has all the ingredients for a great musical, witty lines, fantastic music and brilliant choreography, etc.

Thought-provoking it may not be, but it certainly reflects the social aspects of the time it depicts, like the injustice of the justice system, the manipulation of news making and so on.

And the notion only women and gay men like musicals? Well I don't know, Italians love their operas, men, women, and children. Chinese operas and Japanese kabuki are popular among both genders. Now don't tell me musicals are different!

So why do straight men feel the need to show their disgust at musicals? To protect their perceived muscularity? Or are there just not enough boobs and blood in musicals? Are musicals too girly and glittering for straight men?

But what’s wrong with some razzle dazzle? Life is just a show anyway!

Smoke Gets in Your Eyes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57tK6aQS_H0

Japan is probably the last developed country where you can still smoke almost everywhere.

People here feel it's their right to smoke anywhere they so please. I don't understand why they don't pee everywhere too, or maybe they do, only God knows!

I often fantasize carrying a water pistol around and shoot at the lit-up cigarettes on the street one by one. It disgusts me how people can walk and smoke at the same time. Do they walk and pee at the same time too?

Worst of all, I often get to sit next to the only smoker in the restaurant. It’s just my luck! Over the years, I’ve developed some techniques to give the next table smokers the hints, including fanning away the coming smoke with the menu, covering my nose and mouth like he has contagious disease, coughing so hard like I am about to pass out, etc.

Once I had an argument with my neighbor downstairs because he often smoked on his balcony and the smoke came into my living room without invitation. And when I asked why he didn't smoke inside, he said he didn't want to make his wife and daughter suffer from his second- hand smoke!

It was his business if he chose to die from lung cancer one day, but I refused to die along too. Of course in the end I won the case. He stopped smoking on his balcony, and I stopped spraying air-freshener on mine. The other day I met him in the elevator and he proudly informed me he had quit smoking successfully!

Whenever I see any of my students smoking in the gas chamber, I threaten them with more homework. Such a filthy, hideous habit from such young age! Yuk!

Do they think they look cool when they are smoking? Or do they actually enjoy it? I’ve never smoked, so I honestly have no idea. But one thing for sure, there are no smiling smokers!

Puppet On A String

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrs8CgpH980

I went to a traditional Thai puppet show the other day. Many countries have puppets, but it seems only in Japan and Thailand, the puppet is operated by 3 people, 1 controls the legs, another controls the head and a hand, and the 3rd one the other hand. The puppet and the 3 masters all move and dance together at the same time as one unit.

On the way to the theater, I got hopelessly lost as usual. So I asked some high school girls on the street, and they told me excitedly that they were also going to the same show, in the language I supposed Thai!

Well, it wasn't the first time for me. In fact, everywhere I travel in Asia, people talk to me in their local languages, and I usually just smile and pretend I understand, until my answer is earnestly expected. And the funny thing is, only the people in my hometown ask where I am from!

Anyway I followed those Thai girls to the theater and we smiled our way there. After some very important people gave their very important speeches and the audience started snoring, the show finally began.

The story that evening is about the legend of the lunar eclipse, an old Thai folklore. There are many wars involved between various parties, including a God who transforms himself into a beautiful temptress to seduce the enemy. At one point, the whole zoo seemed to be on stage, to keep the audience from falling asleep again, I guess.

Basically the legend is about how the moon was swallowed by another angry God seeking revenge, after losing the battle and being cut into half, thus explains why we have the lunar eclipse now. The puppet show was beautifully and skillfully performed. The music/singing was also, hmmmm, interesting. And the story plot is excellent too. You see, even the ancient wisdom tells us that sex and violence sell!

But I keep wondering, how did we manage to get the unfortunate moon back later? Did the deranged God find its taste so disagreeable that he deiced to spit it out?

Just Dance

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Abk1jAONjw&ob=av3n

I love dancing. And I don’t get why some people just can’t. I think they probably consider themselves too God-like to be fooling around like the ordinary beings.

But dancing is such a natural way to give your body the freedom to express itself, a bit like when you jump up and down with joy, which is actually a kind of dance too, I suppose.

Do you sometimes start whistling or humming some tunes, and you don’t even notice you are doing it at first? Singing is also another outlet of our emotions, even if we are completely tone-deaf.

Everyone has music in them, although not all of us allow ourselves to hear it. But once we open up our mind, our body will follow. It doesn’t matter if our dance hurts people’s eyes and our singing causes physical pain in their ears.

Some people can dance to any music, because they just enjoy moving their bodies, I guess. But mine freezes when the music is not danceable by my standard. I know, I am such a music snob!

I am at my happiest when I dance to the music I like, completely wrapped in my own world, somewhere nobody can get in and tell me what to do and what not. But I also enjoy social dance, especially waltz or my beloved tango, though it’s extremely difficult to find the right partner to dance with.

There are many dance clubs here in Tokyo. Even though I am not the clubbing type, I go there from time to time, when my feet get itchy for it. But so far I still haven’t found any club that can keep me on the dance floor all night.

Maybe I should just stay home tonight and dance in front of my bedroom mirror again!

Too Big

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzsmWimL2qo

When you think of parks, you probably have something like Central Park or Hyde Park in mind. Well I tell you, most of the parks in Tokyo are technically a patch of grass with 1 or 2 under-nutritious tress, although some bigger ones are also equipped with a 6 tatami sized playground for children. 

They are more like left-over ambitions of the city developers and after- thoughts of the local governments.

But of course there are also a few real parks here, such as Ueno Park, Shinjuku Gyoen, Inokashira Park and so on, even though many of them are atcually home to the homeless at night. During the day you use the parks, and during the night they belong to the homeless, a very efficient way to share the parks, in my opinion.

Now what do people do in the park anyway? The real ones, I mean. Hmmmm, I suppose you can go for a walk, jog or picnic, and sometimes even a concert, art fair or jazz festival.

Many big parks have artificial lakes and you can also enjoy a boat ride there. But only the people in Japan have the privilege to take one of those swan-shaped white toy boats and see how slow you can row it around.

I think I will go to a park and see if there are some early autumn leaves, perhaps sometime next week when I suddenly feel charitable for the starving mosquitoes there.

Take the A Train

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhK-zYfFsIY

I can’t stand sitting in a car/train/airplane for a long time, even though I am usually very patient. I go to the bookshop and choose books according to their weight and thickness, a bit like what you do in the fruit shop.

But really, I don’t understand why people “go driving.” If for some mysterious reason I am on that trans-Siberian railway journey, I am sure I will keep asking “Are we there?” every 20 minutes.

For me, any kind of transportation is just a mean to go from point A to point B. It’s something to endure, not to enjoy. Now please don’t tell me you can always sleep during the journey, because, well I can’t! As far as I know, only Dracula and some whales sleep vertically.

And besides, I suffer from motion sickness easily. Last time I went to Magic Mountain, I threw up after the 7 circles of roller coaster. Although I am a confirmed M, I will never take another ride (any amusement park can offer) voluntarily. You will have to kidnap me handcuffed!

And the Batman ride? Launched FreeFall? Mega Drop?? I think people have watched too many Nazi movies. As for me, I would much prefer going tot the bookshop and hunt for the thickest, heaviest and juiciest book there.

Now you probably think that I am just a clumsy nerd, but believe me, I can run pretty fast, although I do it carefully so that I don’t gallop into any innocent bystanders. And I have excellent hand-eye coordination, especially after I have some coffee in me. I am also good at machines, as long as they are not moving.

I just don’t understand why people enjoy being caged or tortured, except in the bedroom!

Another Way to Die

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=icrNkmf9uyQ

I have a speed phobia.

I can't drive on the highway because I can never cut into the racing-by traffic at the intersection. I can't ski because I don’t know how to make myself jump off the ski lift on the top of the hill.

The only time I went skiing, I took the lift, missed the spot on the top, and made a full circle back down to the starting point. I spent the rest of the day watching my friends skiing and making snowmen with some kids there.

But strangely, I am reckless enough to be on a motorcycle as a passenger. I guess it’s because I know I can keep my eyes closed whenever I feel the need to. The first and also the last time I tried to learn to ride a motorcycle myself, I ended up with a lump as big as an egg on my forehead.

Luckily it didn’t happen when I tried to learn how to drive a car, although I don’t really drive, I just crawl with my car.

I think I can safely blame this on my mum, a total control freak who will not only tell you what to do but also how, where and when. She wipes the doorknobs and her car keys every day.

What's my chance to grow up normal, I ask you?

It's only natural that I consider many things risky business. For example, I am 100% certain I can never learn to swim. Do you know how dirty the water is in the pool and the sea??? You must be joking!

Some of my friends ride horses and I consider them crazy and subconsciously suicidal.

Have I mentioned that? I hate speed!

No Pressure Over Cappuccino

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YfSSq0srfo&feature=related

Do you like to sit at a café?

People go there for various reasons, to escape from the shoebox apartment you call home, to meet friends where you can both sit properly and comfortably, or to work/study/do something you have to force yourself to in a controlled environment.

I go there to watch people, and to be watched, I guess. But usually I prefer to sit at home and enjoy being antisocial.

There are very few outdoor cafes here in Tokyo, and you have to look for them very very carefully. Some people believe Asians simply don’t know how to relax and live. There is certainly some truth to it. You always see Japanese rushing around, lunching fast, and drinking hard.

Nobody likes to be considered lazy here. Eating and sleeping are many people’s only hobbies. Everything they do must have a purpose, usually to improve themselves or to pursue a better material life.

But how about the quality of life? Are they happy? Certainly not. But do they mind? I doubt.

How long can one last, being unhappy day after day? From this perspective, Asians are really quite tough. Most of them can go without any holidays for years. And even when they are on holiday, they are too busy taking photos or shopping. Why do people need to relax anyway?

Before I often felt ashamed when I had a “none-day,” doing absolutely nothing, just lazing around and vegetating.  But now I firmly believe I am entitled to my cappuccino time and I shall sip and chill as long as I like!

Let's Do It

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-oEA1sK374

The other day I was sitting at Starbucks when I noticed I was the only person there dressed in colors other than black, white, or beige. Everybody was wearing something in monotone, not even checks or stripes, except me! I looked down at my bright green/yellow flora printed dress, and started wondering why.

I like to be different, but I don't need to. In fact, I become self-conscious, grumpy or annoyed when I am stared at, depending on how aggressively the stare is.

But Japanese will do everything in order NOT to stand out. Their life goal is to blend in and get accepted as a member of the team, should it be school, company, PTA meeting, residence council, whatever.

They are so afraid to be different that they have to dress the same, behave the same, and even think the same. That's how pathetic it is!

Of course I can see the advantage to be anonymous and I also like to hide in the crowd too. But I will damn wear any vivid, vulgar, or even violent colors whenever and wherever I feel like it!

Now why do people prefer to stay invisible? Why is it so important for Japanese not to draw attention? In order to commit adultery, shoplifting, pick pocketing, or other petty crimes?

I believe the answer is very simple. They are just afraid of making mistakes, which is also the reason why they still can’t speak English after studying it every day for 6 years.

I say, let’s make tons of mistakes, let’s stand out, and let’s just do it. 

Come Together

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0e7AQQTONvg

One of my western friends once asked me why the Japanese people were smiling all the time. While a Japanese friend of mine recently took his family to LA and came back wondering why the Americans always seemed pissed off about something or someone.

Here in Japan, harmony on the surface is certainly more important than anything else. It has to be preserved at all time and at all costs. And they are extremely naive and gullible to believe everyone should be nice to each other.

If you give a Japanese a glass of orange color water, he will take it and drink gratefully without any persuasion, and then thank you. If you give a Chinese the same, he will finally drink it after you spend at least 15 minutes convincing him it’s OJ. And if it’s an American, forget it, he won’t talk to you anyway, you are just a stranger on the street.

Japan is the only country in the world you would find your wallet still sitting next to the sink of the public toilet you just visited more than an hour ago. And everything would remain inside, including all the cash.

As far as I know, the only thing the Japanese police do is giving tourists directions, while the police in the west are always very busy catching serial killers, at least according to CSI.

But Japanese are also paying a dear price in order to maintain harmony on the surface. The stress has driven many people to excessive drinking and various exotic behaviors.

If you are an anthropologies running out of material to study, please do consider Japan!

Chaos

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIQiSZdX8vA

Unlike what most westerners believe, Japanese do know how to communicate, although in a very different way, much more subtly and gently, which usually baffles westerners and is perceived as being politely rude, pretentious, inflexible, indirect, or indifferent.

In Japan, the first rule of communication is “Less is more.” And the second rule is “Never inconvenience the others.” Japanese assume people are compassionate, sympathetic and able to understand each other’s needs without having to resort to talk.

Japanese expect people to have the ability to think for the others, while westerners believe people should always spell out their needs, if they want anything done for them at all.

Patience is considered a must-have virtue here in Japan, and the communication is done by many ways other than verbal. But in the west, it’s encouraged to have your say and voice precisely what you think, at the exact moment when you think it.

When a Japanese asks someone for a favor, he would first take all things into account, especially whether it would cause too much trouble to the other party. After carefully assessing the situation, he would then decide if it’s the right favor to ask. And that’s why Japanese can’t easily say no to the others. In general, they just don't.

This process of inner struggle is unfathomable for most westerners, because come on, what's so hard to simply say no??? You know the others would say it to you too!

Japanese believe every individual is just part of the team, while westerners feel teams are only for sports and the year-end performance evaluation.

With such a huge culture gap, no wonder westerners believe Japanese are stony-faced stuck-ups, while Japanese regard westerners selfish savages!

MInd Your Business

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qJOqhapJUM

I have never liked Mickey Mouse and the gang, even when I was also cute and little myself. Sorry, Mickey, nothing personal, it's just you are not my type!

Of course I understand why people consider those cartoon characters adorable. But I have a hard time comprehending the concept of adults here in Japan carrying a Hello Kitty key chain around without blushing.

It would take a lot of courage to do that in the States if you ever feel the need to, even if it’s not just a fashion statement. But in Japan, a grandpa can walk around wearing a Snow White cap and totally feeling at ease.

It's probably a very good thing for the national mental health. But sometimes I feel the whole country is a big Disneyland.

Most people here are living in Never Never Land. They grow up reading manga and worship Ultraman. And now they go to maid cafe and they enjoy cosplay. In their fantasy, everyone lives happily ever after.

I believe Tokyo Disneyland has the longest waiting time among all the Disneylands in the world, although waiting in the line is the second most popular pastime in Japan, next to shopping.

You can see Disney Stores everywhere in Tokyo, for the people who suddenly have an uncontrollable urge to acquire another cute Winnie the Pooh mouse pad or Donald Duck mug.

In my opinion, Disney is definitely a much better way to escape from the daily stress, compared with karaoke, pachinko, drinking, love hotel, etc? Well, obviously anything is better than going insane politely and quietly.

And really, it’s none of my business if someone can never grow out of the KAWAII~~~ stage.

Seasons In the Sun

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iA6BqS9FlQ0

The other day I walked into Zara, sun on my back, sweat on my face, relived to have some free air-conditioning, and then I found all the clothes in the shop were already in autumn fashion, with dark colors, long-sleeves and fur trims.

I saw this drop-dead gorgeous white down jacket there, although I wonder who in her right mind would pick it up and try it on, when it was 34 degrees outside!

When the seasons start to change, I first take inventory of my last year collection, then I do some market research like window shopping and observing other girls on the street, and finally decide to buy something must-have for this season. It could be a leopard-print scarf, a funky long pearly necklace, or a pair of black, knee-high suede boots.

Although fashion is one of my passions, I refuse to pay top dollar so that I can look exactly the same as everyone else! I am usually a good girl and can wait till the sale, except for something I fall in love with at the first sight.

Some of my friends are ready for the coming autumn. The have just bought some new clothes they absolutely have to have and now they are waiting for the first chance to show off their autumn style.

This morning I read the latest Vogue in the saloon and surprise surprise, it seems this autumn's fashion is not much different from last autumn’s, or the year before for that matter.

Anyway I don't know why some people read those magazines like bible. The models all look either angry or depressed, perhaps because they are hungry and harassed?

Summertime

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWFJLUBwpSY

Autumn is early in Tokyo this year. We had a rather cold week, and now looking at all the fallen yellow leaves on the street makes me realize all over again how fast time flies by.

This time every year, cicadas scream louder, mosquitoes get hungrier, and everyone tries desperately to cling onto every last bit of summer they can have.

I used to love autumn, even though it can be quite sentimental. I suppose I just love the vibrant colors of autumn leave and the cooler and fresher air.

But now I adore summer. I can never have enough of summer! And this summer has almost disappeared when I still haven’t gone through my long list of summer fun.

Let’s see, hmmmmm, things I have accomplished:

-- Trying all the new flavors in Baskin Robins

-- Compiling the playlist “Songs For the Summer”

-- Dancing till I dropped at the club

-- BBQ-ing and stuffing myself nearly sick with different kinds of meat, meat and more meat

And things I still have to do before all the leaves on the trees are gone:

-- Wearing all my slutty summer dresses

-- Learning how to play (the piano) and sing the song “Summertime” simultaneously

-- Finding the prefect golden open-toed sandals with red soles and 5-inch heels

-- Going to a summer festival wearing a traditional Japanese yukata

-- Going to the beach to show off my new halter-top black bikini

Poor, busy me!

Coffee Song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9BRGBUAh0w&feature=related

Why does coffee smell especially good in the morning? I think we are all conditioned! I can't start my day without a cup of coffee first. I believe coffee wakes me up and keeps me going, although in the morning I move very slowly so I have to settle for instant coffee to kick-start my brain.

Many of my friends are coffee junkies. Their lives depend on the constant supply of coffee and they have to keep an emergency stack.

But coffee is not just a necessity. I enjoy the whole experience, from making a cup of coffee to slowly appreciating the smell, the taste, and watching the milk swirling in it. And combined with the sweets I love such as cakes, pies, tarts, chocolate, it’s definitely better than sex sometimes! Well, both are recreational anyway…

I guess that’s why coffee is often associated with having a break, especially when we are sick and tired of the faces of our coworkers.

Making coffee is an art. I am the proud owner of 3 coffee mills, an antique wooden thing, another a normal household appliance, and finally a high-tech, all-mighty tool that can grind a tree as well. I also have a traditional espresso machine and an electric one. And now I am thinking about buying a proper industrial machine!

The exciting part of making coffee is that the result is different every time, depending on how the beans are roasted, how fine you grind them, what equipment you choose to make the coffee, how hot the water is, etc. The final product is not just a simmering cup of coffee.

And next, how you drink it can also make a huge difference. Some people prefer it to look and taste like brown water, while others can only enjoy it bitter and strong. Some people add so much milk that they are actually drinking coffee-flavored milk. But other people like it black. And sugar? Cinnamon? Cocoa powder? There are simply too many variations!!

Personally I like it bitter and strong, but sometimes white and sometimes black, depending on my moods and what sweets I have with.

Of course coffee beans in Japan don't come cheap, like everything else here. But I am willing to sacrifice quantity for quality.

And anyway I have to be careful not to drink too much coffee since my body is highly sensitive to caffeine, which probably also explains why I like it so much.

Forbidden fruits are always the sweetest, aren't they???